The Citizins Guide to Montana

**** I am still sick. So, like David Letterman when he is undergoing Heart Surgery every few weeks, I have enlisted a friend to man the blog tonight. Tonight's Blog has been written by Andrew. All opinions/jokes/what-have-you included in the blog tonight are his, not mine (so when he insults the prophet Mohammad, suicide bomb his apartment, not mine). Make sure to treat him with the same lack of response as you have so generously treated me. His writings can be found in between the happy and bored smurf, as requested by him (ll pictures added are mine, not his). ****

Hello Nick’s friends,

I’m here to inform you about things that you don’t want to be informed about (much like Nick does (and does so well)). However instead of trying to be like Nick, what with the humor and what not, I figured I would bore you with a trivial look at reasons to move to Montana.

Hummanahummanah wha? You ask? That’s right, Montana! Billings, Montana! A lot of people have been asking me, “Andrew, why would anyone want to move to Billings, Montana?” Well I guess I will tell a bunch of people who would never ask me.

Why would anybody ask you about Billings, Montana, your not from there nor have ever been there? Well because dear Nick’s reader, I am thinking about moving there.

But why are thinking about that? For the adventure silly! Jimminy Christmas you’re far more interested then I would have suspected! Because, I want to move somewhere random while I still have the freedom to do so and after thinking about many options I landed on Billings Montana as a finalist.

So then, Why would someone want to move to Billings Montana? Well there are a couple of reasons (That’s right all I’ve got to is a couple of reasons to make a life changing decision). Anyway I’ll list em out for ya.

Its just damn beautiful. I mean come on! Look at some pictures of that place! What a beut!

Its cost of living is pretty low. And by low I mean I could live there with a couple roommates while making minimum wage. Cause that’s exactly what I will be making for a while.

The unemployment is low. As in the economic plunge we are currently in hasn’t really affected Montana yet. Or at least it has done so only a very little bit. And I’m ganna need all the help I can get to get a minimum wage job there!

Its big enough to have all the things I need from a city. This would include a movie theatre and a Target (cause I work at Target and would like to transfer my (near) minimum wage job there).

Low crime rate. In fact Billings was named one of the Best Cities to raise a family. Not that I will be doing that but I will be not getting mugged or stabbed. Which is nice.

Its three hours from Yellowstone. So naturally I would be a year pass and go there as often as possible. Cause Yellowstone is awesome and spending a lot of time there would be really cool (beans). Its also really close to just some general mountains if you couldn’t tell from the pictures.

Also the weather there is actually not that cold considering how far north it is cause apparently there is some sort of wind that blows North that keeps its semi-warm some of the time.

And here is something awesome, can anyone say day trip to Canada! Hells Yeahs! What we do in Canada?! Whatever the hell we want!

And on a personal note for why it’s good for me it’s about a 6 hour drive to my mothers from there and an 8 hour drive to my dad/step moms house. So that’s enough distance to be to distant to visit but not to distant in the case of an emergency.

Plus, Montana is pretty sparsely populated so in the event of a zombie apocalypse you have a better chance.

**** Wasn't that great? Isn't it refreshing not listening to me rant day after day? Hearing about what a heavenly place Montana really is really gives you some perspective, ya know? Let's give Andrew a big round of applause! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to being sick. ****