No Need for Torture, My Friend (the stunning sequel to "No need for Torturem")

(Yes, I can edit blogs, even after they are posted. But, instead of simply editing the blog that is simply a title, mysteriously posted by my computer, I decided to make an extra little joke in this new title. Because that is how desperate I am to be clever.)

Seeing as how 24 (dink-dink, dink-dink) Season 8 has just started (that's 8 days of hell now for our friend Jack Bauer), it seems like the perfect time to catch up on Season 7. Because, it is much too logical to catch up on 24 before the new season started. I'd rather have my own race against the clock. My mission, which I choose to accept, is to watch Season 7 of 24, in it's entirety, before my DVR runs out of space for new episodes of Season 8 (this mission is made even more urgent by my desire not to erase The Prisoner [2009] miniseries which I have been saving until I grow the balls to watch it again). Or before some douche spoils a tasty twist.

What an action packed life I lead.

24's trademark, besides the "real time" device, has got to be Jack's extreme use of torture to get time sensitive information from suspects. The man's shot a suspect's wife in the leg and electrocuted his own brother using wires ripped from a lamp for Christ sake! He's the 2nd to last television character I would want to cross. Because, let's face it, Dexter is even more frightening.

I honestly don't know who would win in a fight. Dexter Morgan or Jack Bauer. Though, it's a mute point... because neither would ever find the need to fight the other... and neither exists. Still, it would make for a bad-ass crossover comic book. And you thought Marvel Vs. DC was rad...

Anyway, watching Jack torture all these people has got me thinking... No, it's not like when I watch Dexter, silly! All the torture on screen doesn't make me want to torture people, like my sudden desire to chop up bodies after I watch Dexter.

My thinking has been done from the torturee's perspective (Spell check and I are fairly certain that 'torturee' is not a word. I mean one who is being tortured, as opposed to one who is doing the torturing). I'm not sure why this is. Perhaps I relate more to the characters who are corrupt, willing to accept vast wealth to betray their country, more than the characters who will do what is right for the US, even at the cost of their own life or the lives of their families.

For whatever the reason, I've been thinking about if I were to be tortured. And how very unnecessary that would be.

Basically, if you have taken me hostage, I'll spill. I'll tell you whatever you want to know, man! No need even withdraw a gun. Or a plastic bag for that matter.

I mean, really, you don't even have to take me hostage. Just ask me nicely. Maybe throw me a "please"... and then a "thank you." You know, after I've given up my colleagues or the location of the nuclear device, it would be nice to be thanked

Because, to be frank, I'm just not a fan of pain. Physical or psychological. It doesn't matter. I prefer to avoid both.

This is also the reason I choose not to die for your sins. Even though I do happen to be the Son of God.

How's that for an ending! Talk about a 24 style twist!