The fact that they are two of the most recognizable faces in science fiction is not all William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy share in common; they have also both led incredibly misguided music careers. We're talking Bruce-Willis-Return-Of-Bruno-Seagram's-Golden-Wine-Coolers misguided (<-- Yes, sir. That is a link).
I'm sure everyone who reads this blog is already aware of Shatner's infamous turn as a singer. He is practically as famous for his "inspired" retelling of Rocket Man as he is for commanding The U.S.S. Enterprise. His "interpretation" of classic songs is beyond legendary (though "ass rape" maybe be a more apt description than "interpretation."). If you ever wanted to hear a beloved classic in spoken word form, with questionable choice in delivery, Shatner is the only man for the job.
This is something one would expect from Shatner. It is a mystery why Mr. Nimoy would have soiled his career with his album, LEONARD NIMOY PRESENTS MR. SPOCK'S MUSIC FROM OUTER SPACE. Nimoy, at one point in his career, hated his constant association with the character Spock, even writing the autobiography "I Am Not Spock" (that he followed up with "I Am Spock" [I am sorry if any of my facts are wrong {though I don't think they are} but I refuse to take the time to check them. And I don't need to, because I assume I know more than you.].). Nimoy's music is closer than Shatner's to being just that, music. Meaning he actually makes the attempt to sing, rather than simply talking at you (though he does sing the Midnight Cowboy classic, "Everybody's Talkin'").
In this blog I outline the best of the worst, the songs that really are too hilarious to miss. I listen to all the Nimoy Shat so you don't have to! I am such a great guy that I even include links so that you can listen to these polished turds yourself. Enjoy! Some are too ridiculous to believe. Listening to these songs was the most hilarious thing to happen to me all last week (since Conan and 30 Rock certainly didn't seem to be trying very hard). 
I start with the classic you have all hopefully seen. If you haven't seen this yet, you are in for the highlight of your 2010. Possibly the greatest award show moment ever (No, definitely the greatest award show moment ever). Click the link above!
Highlights:
"I'm gonna be... high..................... as a kite by then." Pair this with a long drag on a "cigarette" and Shat's inpiration is clear. Also, features dueling Shats! They practically converse:
Shat 1: "Mars is no place to raise a kid."
Shat 2: "In fact, it's cold as hell."
A little twist on the line, "A Rocket, man."
And finally, three Shats! "I'm...a...rock...et...man!" Once dances, one stands stiff, and the original continues to puff away on that cig. Epic.
I can't imagine what it would have been like in that audience. I would have lost it for sure and ruined the broadcast. I know I still cackle away in my room every time I watch it.
This song is just a gem, through and through. Kinda catchy 60's beat, even. Spock comments on everything he finds illogical... in song. I guess the most illogical thing would be not to express his thoughts through song.
Highlights:
After singing about how illogical relationships, jobs, and cars are, Spock... er... Nimoy comments, "Well, there goes the neighborhood" when referring to man's space travel capabilities. What a racist Vulcan!
Wow. Just, wow. Again, super questionable "interpretation" (aka "ass raping") of a classic song. It's like his "character" is being driven made by the Tambourine Man. When Shat's not confused, he's angry!
Highlights: The delivery of, "In the jingle...gangle... morning" could not be more perfect. Also, gotta love the way he shouts his final line, "MR. TAMBOURINE MAN!"
A cover of a Peter, Paul, and Mary Song, about Hammering and Ringing Bells.
Highlights: After singing the song, Nimoy goes America all over our asses. The song seemlessly transistions into the tune of "America the Beautiful" and Nimoy states, "Well, I have a hammer. And I have a bell. And I have a song, a song to sing all over this land. It's the hammer of justice. It's the bell of freedom. And the song, is the song, of love. Love between all of my brothers. And Love between all of my sisters. All over this land." So patriotic it burns when I pee.
Who sings The Beatles better than the Beatles? William Shatner, of course!
Highlights: The following delivery has to be heard to truly be believed, "Picture yourself... in a boat!... On a river! With tangerine trees! And Marmalade skies! Somebody calls you and you answer... quite slowly... A GIRL! With kolidascope eyes!" He honestly sounds like he is in such wonder, like he is really seeing everything he describes. "Marshmellow pies!"
Radioactive dust? A holocaust? Stardate: Depressing.
Highlights: Spoiler alert! The planet was Earth all along! Goddamn you! You damn, dirty Nimoy!
I honestly can't believe even Shatner can be this stupid. But that's why the man is legend!
Highlights: Why even bother?
Ever wanted to hear the plot of The Hobbit retold by Spock... in song? You're a fucking liar. Of course you did!
Highlights: The video rocks. But really, the existence of this song is a highlight on it's own, as far as I'm concerned.
Anyway, that's really all I can bare to unleash on you while keeping a clean conscience. Really though, the inclusions of these songs alone have made this the most hilarious blog I have ever gifted you with. Thank you unintentionally funny Nimoy and Shat!
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