Pardon My Internet Speak, But WTF, Life!?!

Shit. I was going to write a blog about a lady who came in and complained that the religious section was too small at my Barnes and Noble store. I was going to comment on how our religious section is actually huuuuge (unless you are a religious nut, apparently), spanning like 3 isles of double sided bookshelves. The Christian part alone is like two complete isles... and she was totes Christian! Our Humor section is literally 1/6 the size, being only the single side of a bookshelf. Shelves upon shelves for God and only room for several copies of Jon Stewart's book? What kind of God would allow this atrocity to take place?

That would have made a damn fine blog, if I do say so myself. And I do... say so... myself. But, life has a way of getting in the way (Jesus H. Christ [see, I can be as religious as the next guy], that sounds like a shitty logline from a shittily titled movie like It's Complicated [maybe I should have named this blog, It's Complicated!... cause it is. Because everything fucking is! Which is why that is the shittiest title in the history of shitty titles! {Besides Everything's Fine, which is much, much worse. Because if Everything's Fine, why the fuck am I watching this movie?}!]!)!

So, life through me two pitches, nice and slow, right over the plate. I mean, these are both pitches that ordinarily, I would be thrilled to receive, cause they would both be home runs! But, because said pitches were both thrown at the exact same time, they became a single curve ball that [INSERT NAME OF FAMOUS BASEBALL PLAYER WHO IS A GREAT HITTER HERE] himself could not hit. Don't ask me how two great pitches became one horrifying curve ball, that's simply how the game of baseball works. Which I don't understand (see, I'm so confused I am making baseball metaphors! Baseball metaphors!).

This guy looks famous enough. Even HE could not hit this curveball.

The first sweet bit of news, that, had it come on any other day, I would have been so fucking stoked to receive (and I am still pretty pleased with). As you know, I have been working at Barnes and Noble these past 3 or so months. I was hired on a seasonal hire, simply extra help with the added Christmas crowds. But, even at my interview, the chance of being kept on was mentioned. So I have worked toward this (being kept on past Jan. 31st, I mean). Because, I want to have an income, even if it is part time. And, I really do enjoy working at Barnes and Noble, as much as one can enjoy a job that is not screenwriting (my dream job). Hell, I've spent the last 2 months primarily on the 3rd floor, which at my B&N is DVD/Bluray land. All the movies reside here. My DVD/Bluray collection being my greatest pride in this world, there is no retail position I would rather work than a DVD/Bluray department.

So, the news. Today, my manager Nick (no relation), who you know from the Star Trek: Nemesis deleted scene (I knew I would work in Star Trek somehow), has news for me. He tells me that not only do they want to keep me on, they want to make me DVD lead! Meaning, I am in charge of the 3rd floor (under the 3rd floor manager of course). I would be king of the DVDs/Blurays! KING!

Sure, there is no extra pay because B&N is only allowed to officially hire a lead for a department if the department meets a certain quota ours does not... but it's still a great "promotion." I get more regular hours, even in slow weeks, I am in a great position to become an actual lead in a few months (which would mean more money and hours, as I understand it) and, who knows, eventually a manager in the distant future, and I control the department. Which, mainly means I get to present it how I like. That's right, I control the displays and presentation of DVD/Bluray land. Pretty freaking sweet. Nerdgasm.

I have never been "promoted" (even if it's not pay wise) based on merit before! The last time I got promoted was when the federal minimum wage went up (which is not a joke. That is fact. Which is very, very sad). Unless you count moving from an unpaid internship with no perks to an unpaid internship where lunch is free everyday (which I don't). Because I once did that too (what an exciting life I lead)! So, I did feel super stoked to get promoted. And super excited at what this news could mean for the near future.

But apparently good news comes in twos. Twos that contradict each other and make me confused and stressed out.

Okay, so, even though it is not common knowledge, I have been up to something even the US government can not muster, my exit strategy (har-dee-har-har). Yes, fed up with unpaid internships and the promise of years of Hollywood bitch work, I have been planning to move to a cheaper locale than LA to work retail while I continue to write. Support myself on a retail salary in a place where rent is $500 cheaper a month than LA. Because, if I'm going to work retail, what am I doing in LA?

So, I had it all figured out. All I had to do was get someone to fill my seat hole. Someone to sublet my apartment until the lease ends around May 23rd, or what-have-you. And, I was far into this process as well, whether you knew about my exit strategy or not. I cleaned the shit out of my bathroom, room, and kitchen, to levels I actually find insanitary because they are TOO clean. And my roommate showed the apartment tonight.

So, guess what the news is? The person she showed it too loved the place and wants to move in ASAP. I could be out of LA by Feb. 1st, which was my best case scenario.

So, today, life gave me two things I wanted. But, they are two things that both cannot happen. I can't escape LA cleanly and immediately, like I have been dreaming of pulling of for a month now, AND be the King of DVD/Bluray land.

And Bluray/DVD Land fulfills something else I have wanted more than anything for a month now (besides escape from LA). Ever since deciding to leave, I have partly given up on the writing dream, cause, let's face it, if you don't live in LA, your chances of being a screenwriter are decreased drastically. I know its melodramatic, but without this goal, my life has been kinda pointless. I had been looking forward to moving back to Colorado, but what past that? I'd been looking forward to being a writer for so long, without such a goal my life is empty. So, this job not only keeps the goal alive by keeping me in LA, it gives me purpose in my current job, because just hearing I was now the DVD lead gave me a new sense of pride I have not had in a job since my first unpaid internship (boy, I was naive then).

So, what the fuck do I do now? Any pointers? I really would love some advice. Just post it below, or Fbook me. Please!

I'm leaning toward staying for now. Try the DVD Lead thing at least until my lease is up in May, then reassess things. I don't know though...

Sorry to be such a downer... but please... a little help? I'd help you... (maybe)...