Pulling a Leno

I am guilty of pulling a Leno.

No, I do not mean I am guilty of telling lame, boring jokes that suck balls (though I am incredibly guilty of this offense as well [just see this blog]).

I have tried to give away my apartment, only to change my mind and take it back for myself, like a greedy dick-hole.

If you are a fan of the blog (I may actually have more readers than Leno has viewers. All estimates put my readership around 10 or so.) you know that yesterday I was given a "promotion" at Barnes and Noble. I was also given the chance to get the fuck out of Dodge (and by Dodge I mean LA [Technically I already got the fuck out of Dodge, because my film school was called Dodge College]).

Well, I choose the "promotion," so I am am staying in Dodge (by which I mean LA... again [Repeating lame jokes that failed the first time? Another Leno offense!].) and getting more responsibility, more power, and more hours at Barnes and Noble. Better yet, I have been given back my purpose in life. Yay! By staying in LA, the screenwriting dream is still alive (on life support?) and I am already more prideful at my Barnes and Noble job being the King of DVD/Bluray Land.

But, in doing so I have pulled a Leno.

I told my roommate I was leaving. We began the search for someone to take over my lease (which, as it turned out, was easier than The Search for Spock [My Star Trek reference for the night. BAM! You are welcome, Andrew].), finding someone who loved the apartment and wanted to move in ASAP.

So, what did I do to this person who thought she was getting the apartment and loved it so?... I took it away from her by staying.

And, in doing so, I pulled a Leno. I am scum. I am unfunny. Just like Jay Leno. I should just lay down in a ditch and die somewhere. I am ruining television. Fuck me. Fuck me so hard.

And, that is all I have for you tonight. Sorry it is so short a blog, but I have had a rough day (sorta, but not really). At work, I couldn't spell "conscious" in front of a customer (he had to tell me how to spell it. I forgot the 2nd "c.") and I made the retarded statement that Machu Picchu was a person. Ouch. 

This makes me almost as retarded as Jay Leno.