Fuck, That Looks Appetizing!

Today I was driving home from Barnes and Noble when I saw a very interesting bus ad.

The response was instant.  I wanted to vomit. But, I didn't vomit. With as much control over my bodily functions as I could muster, I keep myself from vomiting on my dashboard... shitting my pants instead in an act of utter disgust: a real "Fuck You" to Ronald McDonald.

Really, the Big Mac Snack Wrap is the most revolutionary fast food item since the KFC Famous bowl.

You remember the KFC Famous bowl, don't you? That appetizing mess of every KFC item. Cheese upon Popcorn Chicken upon mash potatoes with just the right about of gravy drizzled over the top. And yes, there's corn in there (Corn?! I didn't have any Corn! [As Austin Powers quote sure, but I also say this everyday after having Chipoltle.].)!

Really ladies, if your man starts eating KFC Famous Bowls than you need to leave him, because is about to move to a trailer and start beating your ass. Right after NASCAR, that is.

God, that looks delicious. Like vomit... that you just paid for (I can't think of anything worse).

Okay, so this Mac Snack Wrap isn't nearly as brilliant as the KFC Famous Bowl (KFC had to invent grilled chicken just to make up for that garbage! [Kentucky FRIED Chicken. Had to invent GRILLED Chicken! That is how fucked up it was]), but it's pretty damn close.

You see, they've taken what appears to be all the Big Mac ingredients, removed the bun, decreased the portions (that's what makes it a snack, mind you.) and dropped that steamy shit into a tortilla (which makes it both ethnic and a snack). Because that's what a snack is; the same shit you fill your body with at mealtime, in smaller portions, wrapped in a tortilla. 

I really don't have to even write this blog. The pictures say it all (I did not take them, I found them on the web. Look, if I had actually bought one of these things, my roommate would have found my lifeless body hanging in the kitchen when she came home). "What a disgusting menu item, even by McDonalds' standards. If they sell any, it will be thanks to high college students and college students who can't afford drugs, so they instead dare each other to eat disgusting shit (This blog entry really has exhausted all the ways I can think of to say "disgusting shit." But, alas, I am too lazy to go to thesaurus.com)," they would say (the pictures, I mean, if I lost you there), "The monster who pitched this 'snack' should be force fed Mac Snack Wraps until his stomach explodes and he dies (thank you, SE7EN)."

 

It's a cruel way to go, sure, but it's an orgasm compared to how the inventor of the KFC Famous Bowl left this world (hint, it was exactly the same as the punishment described above, only involved the KFC Famous Bowl instead of the Mac Snack Wrap).

But he was a redneck, anyway. So it was totally legal...