I was always fated to reach this level. It was destiny. I've always loved Star Warsm so the seed of Sci-Fi was there. My father was a fan of Star Trek (not a Trekkie, but a fan. When I was very little, he was a Vulcan once for Halloween.). So it seems unavoidable that I would one day become obessed with the Trek.
It started with 2009's brand new take on Star Trek. I had always avoided Trek before, being a hardcore Star Wars fan in my youth. Trek was the enemy, as it was obvious to me then that one could only like Star Wars or Star Trek. There was no room for both. But, Goddamn J.J. Abrams. Sure, his TV shows are nothing to write home about (fuck Lost), but he's a fantastic feature director. Mission: Impossible III was fantastic, and so was Star Trek (it made my Top 9 of '09 list afterall).
But Abrams' Star Trek wasn't just a fucking great film, it was a goddamn gateway drug! I loved the characters so much and wanted more. More Kirk, more Spock, and most importantly, more Dr. Leonard "I'm a doctor not a..." Bones McCoy. So I moved on to the original movies, vowing to limit my Trek exposure to the adventures of this original trio. So, I watched all 6 of the orginal movies and the hunger for Trek was quenched... for a time.
Then, Star Trek (2009) came out on Bluray. And I began watching the original series on TV, finding that I suddenly loved it (I had tried watching it freshman year of college and was bored with it after 3 episodes). The original series really is Science Fiction at it's absolute best. The plots are classic Sci Fi and the show far surpasses all other Sci Fi besides the original Star Wars Trilogy (yes, I'm saying Star Trek: The Original Series is superior to the new Trek movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey, new Star Wars, and any other Sci Fi you want to challenge my statement with... but that is another nerdy blog for another time).
So, I wanted more. I moved onto the Next Generation movies. And once I finish the Original Series, I shall consume the Next Generation TV series. Because Star Trek is awesome (in a nerdy way, not an awesome way)! It has far more back story than Lord of the Rings, far more tradition and order than Star Wars; it is perhaps the most well thought out and developed franchise of all time (perhaps). Gene Roddenberry knew his shit (the book about the creation of the original series is a must read for any wanna be TV writer, in it his show bible, first draft outlines, pitches, and scripts are revealed).
But, I did not write this blog to convert you to Trek. I wrote it to rank all 11 movies. Because I love writing about what I enjoy and I love listing things. There are no spoilers in this blog, simply a quick one sentence summary of each film involving no twists or 2nd act plot points. It's simply a way for me to explain why I choose the order I did, because you care so very much about what I think. Plus, if you do take my advice and watch a few Trek films, you know which ones to check out and which to avoid, if you aren't as crazy as I am in deciding to watch all 11.
Without further to do, another Nick Doll list... Engage!
My thoughts: Meh. Very "meh." Sure, I get that this is all allegory for our treatment of the Native Americans, but why do I give a shit? The villains look awesome, but never seem that terrifying a foe. A pretty worthless movie all things said and done.
My Thoughts: The best part about this movie is that Kirk is in it. And Kirk is more badass than any member of Next Generation, so that is this film's only saving grace. The villain is alright, his plot kinda of interesting, as is the promise of the Nexus and the tempting power it has over Picard and Kirk. The showdown is pretty alright, but nothing spectacular. Decent movie in it's own right, just slightly better than "meh."
My Thoughts: The Borg are actually a pretty intriguing foe. The way the Enterprise is literally being infested from it's most inner decks outward is kinda cool. And the Borg Queen has her fair share of interesting villain monologues. Also, the plot involving First Contact between humans and an alien race in 2060-something has a cool finale, though all the scenes leading up to said finale are a drag and simply steal momentum from the Borg assault on the Enterprise. Time Travel is treated too lightly here, as is usually the case with Trek (but was not with the new one). It's way too easy to simply travel back and time and return.
My Thoughts: God. The plot is cool, but I've said it before and I will say it again, there's like 20 minutes of plot in this 2 hour movie. It's got the Avatar syndrome, and bad. An hour long episode of the TV series has more plot than this feature. The ending is pretty cool though, even if it wasn't worth sitting through an hour and a half of "state-of-the-art" (in the 80s) glory shots of the Enterprise flying through space and through bigger ships.
My Thoughts: I love Bones. And this movie gives Bones some pretty decent screen time when he is sent to a Klingon prison world with Kirk. So, that alone makes this movie worthwhile for me. It also has the classic, two Kirks, "I'm the real Kirk, shoot him, not me!" scene (which was interestingly enough also done in the original TV show). This scene always kills me, in a good way.
My Thoughts: The best part about this movie is Christopher Lloyd. He makes an awesome Klingon. That's really all I have to say about it.
My Thoughts: This one is so fucking wacky! Just read that plot again! They go back in time... to get a whale! You basically have the crew trying to fit in with people from the 1980s. Classic. There's a great convo where Kirk tries to explain curse words to Spock... just... classic. Time Travel is dealt with more class and care here than in First Contact.
My Thoughts: Easily the best of the Next Generation Treks, I actually liked it better than most the original ones too, even with it's lack of Kirk, Spock, and Bones. That's because I love plots with doppelganger villains, so who better for Picard to face off against than his clone? Tom Hardy expertly plays this younger version of Picard. God, that actor rocks. Just check out Bronson where he is Bronson the most dangerous British prisoner of all time, or RocknRolla where he is Handsome Bob aka the gay member of the Wild Bunch. And word on the street is that he may play Mad Max next. Tom Hardy is going places. There are some really great scenes hear between Hardy and Patrick Stewart, playing off of the shadowy reflection idea a la Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Plus, one of my Barnes and Noble managers, Nick (no relation), is in a deleted scene. Badass!
My Thoughts: The plot isn't necessarily that great, but this one is my third favorite because it plays up the triangle of the friendship between Kirk, Spock, and Bones. All 3 get nearly equal screen time, something Bones almost never gets (though he absolutely deserves it). Hopefully, the new second Trek movie coming out in two years takes a cue from this movie and plays up the heroic threesome (a super sexy threesome indeed) more than the first did. Because I love me some Bones.
My Thoughts: Khaaan! Kirk's greatest foe makes for Star Trek's second most exciting adventure. If you see one Trek movie that wasn't directed by Abrams, see this one. It is one of the most referenced Sci Fi films of all time. A true classic.
My Thoughts: I shouldn't have to say anything about this one. Because you've seen it. It's the most action packed, well written and acted Trek film of them all. The gateway drug into a great franchise. Super successful as the world's first prequel/sequel as well, resetting the Trek universe while staying true to the source. Masterful.
There. I got that Trek Blog out of my system (for now...).
Live Long and Prosper! (Ha ha! My nerdiness knows no bounds... boldly going where I have never gone before...)
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