Preview on Top of a Preview For a Preview

It really seems of late that this blog has simply become an outlet where I rage against stupid decisions. Like my past two blogs (that's right, I did... er... write two blogs in the past two days. I just didn't post them on FBook because they weren't particularly good... I'm not saying that this one is... I just... I dunno... I'm posting a link on FBook, alright?! Jerk.) about the uncontrollable outrage I felt after Avatar won (bought?) the Golden Globe for Best Picture and the silliness of having all the characters on the Book of Eli posters where sunglasses. But I am okay with that, as there are plenty of stupid decisions to rage against.

Today I watched the Trailer for The A-Team. HERE. Pretty badass, right? I know I get sand in my vagina sometimes over these over the top action-thrill rides (I still don't know why the fuck John McClane surfed on a jet), but I'm totally on board with The A-Team. It just looks like a lot of fun.

You got Liam Neeson, the ultimate badass, being an ultimate badass by kicking ass and taking names... while chomping on a massive cigar. You got Bradley Cooper, who is pretty fly, kicking ass and stripping of his shirt (you know, so that the movie has a chance of hitting all four quadrants). You got Sharlto Copley, who is really the only thing I remember about District 9. And you got some dude impersonating Mr. T. Mix up that concoction (I totally tried to spell it concocktion) with some over the top special effects and you got yourself a movie (my biggest fear is that it comes from 20th Century Fox, who hasn't made a good movie in years.)!

So, I am stoked on The A-Team. I'm not complaining about that. Though I am a wee bit concerned it will overshadow The Losers, which is basically the same movie, without the name recognition. The Losers is a script I read about a dozen different drafts of when I worked at Weed Road. I won't say much about it as not to get my pants sued off (though that could get pretty sexy pretty fast).

Basically, The Losers are a military group that is framed for a debacle (what a fun word) and presumed dead by the US Military. In order to get their lives back they have to kill the man who set them up (who is a deliciously written villain that Jason Bateman almost played... I was so sad when he wasn't cast... it's perfectly written for him... or Jeremy Piven....). It's really a lot like A-Team. And Weed Road cast a lot of would-be stars before they were big, like the guy who played the Comedian in Watchman and the chick from Star Trek and Avatar. But the script was pretty good. So, hopefully there is room for both to succeed this summer in Hollywood.

Anyway, I'm not upset about the existence of The A-Team or The Losers. Both should make for a solid 2010 action slate.

I am upset with the lack of respect I am treated with when viewing movie trailers online.

It really has gone too far.

Whenever you view a trailer on joblo.com (my preferred site for movie news because sites like aintitcool.com don't report all the news and the site design looks sloppy) you have to watch a 30-second commercial first. Yes, you have to watch an advertisement so that you can watch an advertisement.

Gay.

And not in the cool way, like William Dafoe in Boondock Saints (Jesus, I accidentally typed Boondick Saints the first time... WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?). I mean in the totally faggit way, like one who rides a motorcycle.

Fags...

But, I am used to this travesty of having to watch an advertisement to watch an advertisement (a real travesty, not like what's going on in Haiti). What happened today was totally.... so much more tragic.

On this new site, where I watched The A-Team Trailer, I was in the middle of enjoying a shirtless Bradley Cooper (if you can't beat them [and you can't cause it's a hate crime], join them...) when a second trailer started, simultaneously. And not in a different window. In the very same Window, slightly overlapping my A-Team Trailer. The audio was going and everything.

Why (no), why the fuck (that's better), would someone watching The A-Team trailer be interested in watching the trailer for Legion AT THE EXACT SAME TIME?!? (Sorry I internet shouted there, but it could not be helped). It makes no fucking sense! To quote Christian Bale, "That's fucking dis-tract-ing!"

I know Dennis Quaid is a brilliant actor, unmatched by all his peers, but if I'm at your website for The A-Team trailer, I probably want to watch the A-Team trailer. I can't imagine the number of people visiting your site who want to watch The A-Team trailer with the added audio from the Legion trailer are very high (though anyone who does want to watch this is probably very high).

 Plus, to add insult to injury, the trailer I had to watch with my A-Team trailer was the trailer for Legion! I can't think of a movie trailer out now that looks like a bigger pile of poop. A movie where angel's wield machine guns and old ladies crawl along the ceilings?  The executives who okay'ed that script were surely fired before filming was complete. I mean, Dennis Quaid can't save everything...

This does also bring me to one last point...

Has anyone else noticed how there are now previews for previews?

Like, Entertainment Tonight has a commercial with brief clips from a trailer and says "Tune in this Friday for premiere of the Avatard trailer..."

That just seems plain wrong. What is this world of ours coming to? If Avatard's success is not a sign of the impending Apocalypse, than this surely is...

 Maybe Angel's wielding machine guns are not so far fetched... Save us Dennis Quaid!